marlowe1: Wow. It's like creepy Canadians are so much more ...

I'm just going to go ahead and blame sabotabby for making me look up sites named friendzone. I found http://friendzone.ca/ and http://friendzone.com/ and while both sites are creepy sites for dudes who see the act of befriending women as a means to an end. The attitude is clueless at best and deeply misogynist at worst. Yet the Canadian version almost seems reasonable. Oh sure, it's creepy and it totally loves that "if she seems to like you as a friend, get totally into her shit and make out with her" advice. But the pictures are almost sane and the first page has these tips:

TIP #1 If you are in the ?friend zone? chances are you could be labeled as the stereotypical ?nice person?. This basically means that you spare other people?s feelings no matter what the cost to yourself and your feelings. An example of this might be that you are interested in your friend romantically, but don?t want to let them know because of what you are afraid will happen. Try to find a way to be sweet, but have feelings of your own at the same time. Always sparing the feelings of others makes you look like a pushover who has low self-esteem. Plus, if you never make your feelings know, how do you even know for sure that you?re in the ?friend zone?.

TIP #2 Acting as if being in a relationship is the most important thing in the world is a big turn off to other people. If your way of showing your friend that you want to be in a relationship is by talking constantly about relationships and how you?d love to be in one, then it will never happen. Your neediness is probably coming off as desperation, so step back and have some confidence. Don?t act like not being in a relationship is the end of the world.

TIP #3 There is usually a big difference between how friends touch and how people in a relationship touch. Some people might be fine with cuddling with a friend, while others will not. Examine if you are getting the signals wrong from the person you?re interested in. If you are scared to touch this person, your hesitancy could be what is stalling the relationship. Touch them first to gauge their reactions and go from there.

TIP #4 It is possible that you and the person you are interested in have very different ideas about what makes a romantic relationship and a friendship different. It?s possible that you see a romantic relationship as nothing more than a friendship with intimacy. The person you like could have different ideas. If you expect your relationship to get to the next level and this is how the other person feels, then it will never get anywhere. A good majority of people expect to be wooed by someone who is interested in them. If you continue to just act like a friend the relationship is doomed.

TIP #5 At some point you may realize that the person you are interested in is not going to ever be interested in romance. You could be doing yourself a disservice by continuing to harbour feelings that will end up going nowhere. The best thing to do at this point is to cut off the ?friendship? and make it more like a casual acquaintance relationship. If necessary explain to the other person that you really like them, but it?s time to move on. Spare your feelings, because they are just as important as everyone else?s.

And yeah, tips 3 and 4 are creepy (or very easy to get creepy) but tips 1 and 2 are basically the same as the magical clitoris' advice (yeah I wanted to write that) from the South Park Movie: "Dude just have confidence in yourself." While tip # 5 is actually solid advice. And it's the kind of advice that everyone needs to hear at one point.

The advice basically comes down to "if you are friends with a woman and you are viewing it as a shitty consolation prize for that amazing relationship complete with house, kids and hot hot sex, then give up and move on."

Of course, better advice would be "DON'T have that attitude." But easier said than done. Pause for shitty memories. Ok.

On the other hand, friendzone.com gives us that can-do American spirit (as in damn, I know we have a reputation as being a nation of gun toting douchebags but we don't have to confirm it):

You're in the friendzone, the woman of your dreams is not going to wake up someday and say "Oh shit! jake is the one I want to be with" It just does not happen like that. I can make it happen for you.

With my System You will get your girl, I guarantee it."

I have no problem telling you this because I know a lot of people just like you, so don't be offended. I have never once in my life been in the dreaded friendzone, my intentions are clear from the moment I meet any girl. I don't have time to listen to girls bullshit, I have enough shit going on in my life. I sure has hell do not have the time to deal with her problems and then worst of all, not get laid. I don't know how you pussies deal with it, but I am going to help you because I've helped countless people like you. And lastly, don't get offended and close the page now because if you do, you will be in the dreaded friendzone until the end of time. While the guy who listened is most likely dating your girl, don't worry though, you will be at the wedding.... alone.

Oh, I believe that you've never been in the friendzone, "Bryce" because a woman has to actually want to be friends with you before she can friendzone you. I don't really see any females even being able to bullshit their way through a "I like you more as a friend" speech before going to the more honest "get the fuck away from me."

It even has this -

Although it should be noted that that movie (yeah I saw it - I don't always hate Ryan Reynolds - sometimes he can actually carry a movie - especially if it's not a superhero movie) ends with the main character yelling "you can't play games or force someone to like you. All you can do is put yourself out there and hope for the best."

I don't think that Bryce saw the movie - or he probably found that part unbelievable for different reasons than I might find it unbelievable. I don't believe that people have sudden revelations that totally reveal why they are fucking up their lives and then shout them out. He just doesn't believe that it's a message.

Hell, even the Canadians are reasonable in their pricing - $4.99 for a book that basically comes down to "go ahead. Take a chance" and a lot of Billy Joel lyrics.

The American friendzone guy is charging $14.99 for a 30 page book and a phone consultation:

My System is only $14.95

And it includes a 30 page guide on getting out of the friendzone + a 15 minute phone consultation with me where you can explain your situation and I can give you custom advice

P.S. I know you're probably skeptical, but what do you really have to lose? Do you know how much time and money you have already wasted thinking about this, it's time to try my system and get the girl. You can go surf youtube videos and read forum comments all day about getting out of the friendzone but none of these people know what they are talking about. You know what they say about opinions right? Well, I am ready to step up to the plate, learn your situation and deal with it.

Although, if the best method you have for dealing with your emotional issues is to seek advice from YOUTUBE COMMENTS then maybe you should pay this guy $15 for his phone consultation.

It's not nearly enough money to talk to your dumb ass and not laugh at you.

Source: http://marlowe1.livejournal.com/2103832.html

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